Daily Leader Dilemmas

⏱ 5 min read

In a rush? Here is the quick overview.

The issue

• Every leader has days when they aren't at their best emotionally.
• Your team notices your energy more than you think—and inconsistency creates uncertainty.

Best practices for you as the leader

• Before leading others, take the time to reset your own mindset.
• If needed, reschedule conversations rather than showing up half-present.
• A little honest communication builds more trust than pretending everything is fine.

Key takeaway

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's part of taking care of your team.

The Problem at Hand

You wake up, and you just aren't feeling it.

You're not sick. Nothing catastrophic has happened. You're simply not at your best emotionally.

Unfortunately, today's calendar is full of coaching sessions, one-on-ones, and meetings where your team needs the very best version of you.

So what do you do?

When I led teams, I always loved what I did. I genuinely looked forward to working with them.

Most mornings I couldn't wait to get to work. I loved leading people, solving problems, and helping my team succeed. Even when business was tough, I was usually the person saying, "We've got this."

But like everyone else, there were some days when I just wasn't feeling it, you know?

On those days, give me a spreadsheet and let me hide behind it for the day, please!

We've all been there, and it's always hard. And it can feel especially hard when you are a leader.

Leadership is emotional work. Your people don't just listen to your words—they read your face, your tone, your patience, and your energy.

That's why you can't simply fake your way through an off day. Even if you think you're hiding it, chances are your team already knows something is different.

BOTTOM LINE:  Your mood isn't just personal once you become a leader—it becomes part of the environment your team works in every day. That's why learning to manage your own mindset is one of the most important leadership skills you'll ever develop.

So what do you do?

The LeDev Advice

The good news?

This isn't about pretending to be happy every day.

It's about recognizing when you're not ready to lead—and taking a few intentional steps before you step into someone else's day.

The best advice I ever got as a young leader was from a seasoned and exceptional executive. And it was this:

"If you pull into the parking lot and you are not in the right mindset to lead, sit in your car until you get yourself there.
No matter how long it takes."

I've followed that advice my entire leadership career and it's worked.

How I followed it was pretty simple:

Step One - Reset Yourself

• Take a walk around the block.
• Listen to a motivating podcast or song.
• Meditate.
• Have some affirmations handy (I always have nice notes from my team handy. Rereading them helps me).
• Be grateful for something.

Just give yourself the time to reboot your attitude.

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Step Two - Buy Yourself Time

If those things didn't do the trick, reschedule your first meeting.

Think about it this way: a rushed or emotionally unavailable coaching conversation rarely helps anyone. Waiting a few hours until you're able to be fully present almost always creates a better outcome.

With the time you gave yourself back, keep working on Step One strategies until you get there.

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Step Three - Protect Your Team

If rescheduling the first meeting still didn't do it, reschedule what you can for the day and continue actively working on yourself until you are ready.

It may sound selfish and maybe irresponsible, but it's not! Trust me, your team will survive without you long enough for YOU to take care of YOU.

If this is not resonating, think about every airline safety briefing you've ever heard:

"Put your own oxygen mask on before helping someone else."

Leadership works the same way. You can't pour calm, confidence, and encouragement into someone else when your own emotional tank is empty.

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A Few Final Thoughts

Covering the Details

If you do need to reschedule, don't just move the meeting without acknowledging it. A simple apology goes a long way and prevents people from creating stories about what's going on.

Something like this is enough:

"I'm sorry for the last-minute change. I need a little time back this morning, but let's reconnect this afternoon."

You don't need to overshare. A little vulnerability builds trust, while too much detail shifts the focus onto you.

If possible, replace the meeting with work that still moves the business but doesn't require you to be emotionally "on." Sometimes spending an hour on planning, email, or a project gives you the space you need to reset.

If you're truly not in the right headspace, take the time off officially. And, of course, let your leader know what's going on and what your plan is.

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What if I can't reschedule?

Sometimes you simply don't have that option. A customer meeting, an urgent issue, or a team crisis means you're going to have to show up.

If that's the case, remember this: your team is going to notice you're off. Trying to pretend otherwise usually creates more uncertainty than simply acknowledging it.

A quick comment is often all that's needed:

"Sorry everyone, I'm a little distracted this morning. I appreciate your patience."

Then move on. There's no need to make the meeting about you. That brief moment of honesty often strengthens trust because your team sees that you're self-aware and authentic.

If you don't have the opportunity to say something in the moment, circle back later and apologize once you're back to yourself.

BOTTOM LINE: Don't silently muddle through. When leaders behave differently without explanation, people naturally fill in the blanks—and those stories are rarely accurate.

One difficult day won't define your leadership, but how you handle that day just might.

So, next time you have one of those days, know you are not alone, take care of yourself, and remember that it's all for the good of the team. Go put that oxygen mask on - no regrets!

Summary